I think you are old enough to take some practical steps. You report an almost complete elimination of symptoms that followed your assuming the masculine identity and a return of symptoms when you returned to the feminine identity that you loathe.

This seems to make a strong case for making changes. Your family will accept them, with time, since they care about you.

is there a glbt services center you can contact in your area? they may have some more resources also to help you out. I know here, where my wife and I both attend groups and therapy, they have additional groups for trans and gender issues...

Yeah, there's even a transgender specific group. The main reason I've been avoiding it is because of the social anxiety, but maybe I should just suck it up and go. Maybe it'd be worth it. Such a wuss sometimes lol.

I'm a little confused about your counselor's hesitance about seeing you move out on your own. I could imagine the anxiety getting a bit better when you no longer have to pretend (though it would not help the finances). I can imagine that feeling uncomfortable in your body would add a tremendous amount of anxiety to any social situation. I have mild social anxiety, but I do know it is somewhat easier to deal with when I feel comfortable being myself...

It's because I would probably isolate myself still. But I suppose I gotta think about which I'd rather sacrifice. I think I'd rather have the risk of isolating myself now that I think about it. Nothing is guaranteed about that anyways.

Also, could you introduce your family slowly to the concept of you feeling "wrong" in the body you have, and as being referred to as female? It can be a tremendous shock to them, but they may already have some inkling that something is different. I know when I came out as a lesbian to some of my friends, they said they knew long before I did. I also panicked about telling my parents - I got a very different response than the one I had feared. You know your family better though. ((hugs)) I hope you can figure it out.

Thank you I believe it would be a shock to them, and some of them I think would not be able to understand - maybe ever. But perhaps I'm getting used to that notion, even if I don't like it. I've never really been very understood by anyone besides a few professionals who seem to understand better than I do even. Haha. But maybe it's okay like that. Perhaps it's better to be honest than to be understood.

here are some quick resources I found through google: (I did not look at any of them, just read the little blurbs after the link. The only 2 I am more familiar with are the Born This Way Foundation and the HRC)...
Get Help Now | Born This Way Foundation
Human Rights Campaign
Do Something | Largest organization for teens and social cause
International Hotlines - GLBTQ - Teens