I have been in this situation but from the other side. I married someone that I did not feel physically attracted towards, but did love, really like a brother. Essentially I initially decided to get married to him because he was attracted to me and I thought that in time my feelings for him would change. I had very low self-esteem when we met and was influenced by others to go ahead with the relationship and I later really regretted beginning a relationship on this basis for the hurt it caused.

In our case, it was not resolved before we got divorced. But I found the divorce incredibly difficult and painful because I did grow to have a strong bond even though there had been conflict, and we saw a lot of each other for a long time and we are still in touch because we had a child together - although he has remarried.

Some years after we separated we talked about the issue, and I admitted that I had found the sexual side of things problematic. He felt angry because he wished that I had spoken about it at the time, but by the time I did it was really too late to go back.

I think with hindsight that some kind of therapy would have been beneficial both as a couple to look at issues around building intimacy and trust and communication as well as hopes and wishes, but also a series of sessions just for me because of issues I'd had from childhood. I didn't feel able to effectively communicate what I did want and would like and there was a lot of hurt and frustration as well as underlying anger on both sides. Even if the therapy hadn't resulted in us staying together, it would have been opportunity for us each to get more support individually with what had happened and enable us to self-care better.

Something I've become aware of only very recently which is an issue which I wish I had had a greater awareness of and which might be helpful to know about is 'invalidation'.