My mind is clearer today. What is the purpose of any conversation? I am 50+, so if I talk to an older person, someone my age, a young adult, teenager, or child, my talk will be different, as will my expectations of their talk. Someone my age makes assumptions that I am like them, which are usually wrong - I don't have kids or a husband older than me, or a job. I am a serious student, and I don't have typical hobbies (except gardening), interests, or history of women my age. So those different assumptions are often barriers to be worked around. Best is to talk with someone who doesn't pigeonhole me. But we still have to be aware the pigeonholes are there. Treading politely through trite topics gives opportunities to throw something else in, against a nonthreatening background - I'm thinking of casual conversations with other people in the apartment building or in public or even at school.

Discussing is more about getting to know the other person and general things in life that we all have to deal with than about the topic for its own sake. It is about establishing a friendliness and basis of trust, so later when you have a request for info or even a favour, you are not a stranger reaching out.

Even when you talk to someone who is interested in your special interest, what is the purpose of talking? You and I briefly discussed mushrooms - my general interest is edibles, and we didn't get into my more specialized interest, which would be ecological relationships with fungi, not necessarily mushrooms per se. You are interested in collecting and classifying them. Have you ever looked for a discussion group focussed on that? I bet there is more than one.