Thanks Bonnie. I know that I will be looking for a therapist very soon. I already mentioned it to my husband that when the time is good, I would like to speak to someone. He didn't say I was crazy this time or that it was a waste of time, he just said, "whatever you need to do" I felt better about that. Then of course he goes on to say that I probably would put the therapist to sleep with everything I have to talk about. We laughed it off. At least he is supporting my decision.
I had another doctor appointment today. Everything seems good with the baby thankfully. I had more blood work done to test my levels again, and a few other things that need to be done. It has been scary to say the least. I have been trying to be strong and pretend that I can handle it all. Honestly, I really can't. I am going out of my mind about everything.

Unfortunately, my daughter hasnt been feeling so well today. i think she may have a stomach bug but im not sure yet. she is very lethargic. For such a lively, spunky kid, it's hard to see her this way. In the back of my mind I think about my mother and how she doesn't even care enough to see how we are, or how her grandchildren are. This little girl of mine asks for her all the time. She always wants to go and see her. It really makes me sick that she doesn't see it this way.
I have given up feeling that things will get better. I always believed that things happen for a reason, and that time can heal all wounds. Who knows. I have to accept this now and go on.