Just like your driver's license, you've purposely misplaced your memories... but they're there.

What does your T say about your coping mechanisms? Has he/she suggested CBT? My heart goes out to you, Radio. Your memories must indeed be painful! My mother's instinct is making me feel like I want to protect you from those memories and I'm asking myself "Is there any other way to get around this??"

I don't know, Sweetheart. Who am I to say? Maybe it would be possible to change the way you react to things just by being aware of what needs to be changed and not knowing the "why."

When I found out what had happened to me, so many things started making sense to me. It was easier to change, knowing the "why" of things. It wasn't that I was faulty, it was THEM.

At any rate, it's your choice, your decision, your timing. YOU are in control now, not "them."