[quote=shattered sanity;3055802]just wondering how you would explain agoraphobia to someone

For me it begins as a subconcious reflex response which I only become aware of as it's building up. I've always been a bit shy but there's a much more powerful version within me that gets triggered in certain situtions. If I'm walking alone through somewhere busy, I may still be feeling fine when without warning a sort of 'other me' starts doing things I have no real control over. These include my breathing getting jittery, my stopping looking at people directly and (most unfortunately) my expression switching to one of standoffishness, even though at that point I still just want to be friends with everyone and to be liked. Then I become aware that my face is tightening up at which point I become so self-concious that being looked at feels like there's a gun pointing at me. Nearby people become 'bandits at 3 o'clock', my personal space (the bit I don't want others to enter) grows dramatically and I start concentrating on getting to a 'safe zone' with zero interaction with anyone on the way. I in effect blinker everyone out.

There is a stage beyond which I've experienced only very occasionally. It takes a really tough situation for me, like a nightclub where people all around are dancing and getting drunk. It's a sort of emotional shutdown. The world around me kinda disappears as I enter a weird rather peaceful state.

Believe it or not very few people have ever known I get agoraphobia. My parents never did and people really close to me only find out over time, basically through my telling them. And as for doctors, well I told one once who responded by saying basically "You're a man, grow up!" Strangely enough that had a positive effect of a sort. It so annoyed me that I responded pretty heavily and I guess that helped on my long road to accepting who I am.

I have found that deliberately facing some of the trigger situations can lesson agoraphobia. A job I had recently delivering leaflets had the effect of making my 'Safe Zones' get bigger and bigger. I have even managed numerous trips across London in the rush hour on the underground, where not just me but everyone is sort of blinkering out the people around them. But I have never found a complete cure. I have though over many years learned to forgive myself. I have always liked shy sensitive people and have never been in love with any other kind. So if I myself am judged harshly it raises serious doubts about those doing the judging.

Sorry, this ain't the simple description you were looking for. Oh well, it is quite a complex subject. If you suffer from it then you are complex too. That's sure better than being simple