I have a difficult time staying present in the moment as well. I would prefer to be mindful and enjoy the experience ~ THAT would be wonderful! It's hard not to dissociate though. I don't think that we have much control over that aspect, but maybe I'm wrong.

It's nice that your hub wants you to get pleasure from the experience. Have you always dissociated during sex, or is it somewhat new? I know that you were SA, and I'm curious if you've consistently dissociated since or if there have been some times when you've been able to stay present in the moment.

There have been times when I haven't dissociated, in the first couple of years with my bf, but the last year or so I've had trouble with it. Before my current bf, I always dissociated with my ex-hub and previous bf's. {That's why I ask.}