Hell watevs, just wanted offer a bit of support, not professional advise by any means. But I am returning to school at the age of 50. I feel exactly like you described in your post. I feel like I want to run away, afraid to face the world...really really alone. And yet, I made it through several successful years in the military and felt very brave and I know I am not a coward.

I know you are not a coward...but you do sound depressed, seriously. I would also check into meds while setting up the counselor thing.

But remember most importantly, keep posting when you need to. That is why we are here. Sending you a big safe cyber hug.