right from a kid i new i was ill , i asked my old man many questions, he was a depressive and a nasty bastard but would not except it. treated me as if i was a retard when he was the retard in denile ,if the old fart had owed up to his own illness an explained to his son,me i would mabye have had a better insight instead of bluddering on from one disaster to the next. Its distanted me from my sisters who love me dearly because now i blaim them for not seeing my plight all because my dad was a **** head. He went into a nurseing home and for 2 years never asked to see me, when he died i went to the funeral and left straight after , not talking to anyone. So we all have crap things in are heads that never go away, but we carnt let it beat us or they have won, and i for 1 am not having that