Oh honey, the stories I could tell. You see, both my husband and I were alcoholics. He was abusive even before he drank. He was controlling, penny-pinching, emotionally abusive, etc. Then I started drinking too. I couldn't stand my life. You see we started dating in high school too -- I was 15 and he was 18. And I got married 4 days out of high school, and i wasn't even pregnant! In fact, I was a virgin (a little more than you needed to hear?) I wanted OUT of getting married, but my parents wouldn't LET me - can you believe that?

So I stayed with that jerk for 26 years, and my kids told me the same thing -- why did you stay? Why don't you leave? It was for the sake of the kids. Husband told me if I left, he would take my kids somewhere where I'd NEVER find them or SEE them again -- and he WAS capable of doing that. He'd do that just to hurt me. I waited til my youngest was 18, and divorced the bum.

In fact, I got sober and divorced at the same time. My kids were SO proud of me!!! They said they KNEW why I drank, and understood. I was so ashamed.

Your husband is NOT going to get better until he hits bottom. He WONT quit drinking until he loses everything, which includes: his job, his home, you, the kids, his drivers license, his car, his friends, etc. THEN and ONLY THEN will he perhaps think about getting help. Some people never do hit bottom and they just die. Alcoholism kills. The liver shuts down, and then the rest of the organs after that. It's not pretty -- I've seen it.

You can't help him quit. All the nagging, begging, pleading in the world is NOT going to help him. And by staying you might even be enabling him. Don't keep wasting your life if the love is gone. Don't keep hurting the children either, because the longer they're in that home, the more LIKELY they will be to become alcoholics. They ALREADY are on the danger list because alcoholism is hereditary. They MUST be diligent about their drinking -- very careful about how much they drink or even IF they drink!!! You MUST talk to them about this!

You still have the opportunity for a wonderful life with this officer. Why not take it? I normally don't like to advise people to divorce, but in cases like this, there is no other answer. I say go for it! You've lived enough misery. God bless you and take care! Hugs, Lee