What does it take? I feel so alone and so misunderstood. How am I suppose to explain what is going on with me to my family, friends, and children? How do I tell them about parts and explain bpd and ddnos to them, especially when family are a big part of the reason I am this way. I'm not trying to place blame, it is what it is, but I have very little support. Just spinning out. I feel like I need to tell someone that I'm working on integrating, but who do I tell that isn't going to make me feel crazy or discredited? If I tell people closest to me, I feel like they will treat me differently in a negative way. Idk. Also, when I signed up for this I accidentally spelled pheonix (user name)wrong and can't figure out how to get it changed. I sent a pm to a mod. but didn't get a reply.

This is just so messed up because on the outside, I spend a great deal of time and energy keeping an appearance of being well put together (well sort of), but wow what a hurricane inside with parts everywhere and lost time etc.

...and there it goes again, had something else I wanted to vent about or ask other about, but it is completely gone...

I apologize for being all over the place, having trouble getting my footing this am, and hating myself for feeling so vulnerable and negative.