I've SI. Mostly when drinking & feel supremely worthless. Last time was 7/8 years ago. Recently had the urge again, without a drink & it scared me. SI gave me a sense of relief (as did alcohol) as well as a form of self punishment .

I just got my meds adjusted with Pdoc. I don't want to SI, play with razor blades or knives. I don't want to get back to the feeling of being worthless.

I always think ultramar has a lot of wisdom to share. I'd suggest going to Pdoc too.