I didn't mean for it to sound that integration is the only way. I mean that it upsets me that they aren't on my path and they're saying I'm wrong. I feel judged by them. It also upsets me when I see people glorifying DID like it's some wonderful thing to have and it makes them more special than anyone else because they're unique. I read their blogs and comments as that as they publicize their alters and make drawings of their inside world. . . it just for me it violates that privacy and secrecy of that inner world.

Also I want to share that we (my psychologist and I) are approaching the dissociative symptom in a similar way. Right now for me that's the biggest issue in my life. PTSD is too but I can't handle that work and so we're working on building on skills that can help me remain present. What you describe sounds like being mindful. There's six things that we're learning to do to be more mindful and take in our surroundings and what's happening without judgement. Being mindful is the opposite of dissociating so that's where it helps. Right now I'm still struggling with staying in my day and if I'm triggered I'm gone for days on end. I'm not really dealing with big issues in my life since I left my parents' dictatorship. Life is actually really good for me right now. If I have something come up that needs to be addressed we deal with that but ultimately we're working on learning the skills found through DBT so we can stay balanced in our perception of the world around us.