I'm sorry things are so bad for you right now, but it sounds like you are taking all the right steps towards getting better by talking to your doctor, applying for disability, etc. I think, if you can, it might be worth it to take a minute and look at how strong you have been to be able to do all of these things. I think you should be very proud of yourself for having been able to even post about it on here, let alone talk to your doctor. It takes a lot of courage to deal with depression, and the fact that you have struggled with it for 22 years and are still working on getting through it is really admirable.

I hope your stability returns soon, but in the meantime, don't forget how strong you are!!

*hugs*

Ness