Based on knowing that I have more negative than positive qualities and that I was treated like a horrible person for expressing interest in someone before and terrorized until I had a breakdown and had to go on anti-psychotic meds for a while, I don't know if I should ever pursue dating again. I really don't want to risk being treated like that again if anything about me is a deal breaker...although to be honest, I'm never going to be brave/stupid/crazy enough to share my feelings with anyone ever again because of what happened before...but still, I wonder if some of my worse traits are/could be deal breakers for many/most people.

For example:
I have a lot of scars, stretch marks, and acne on my body. I wouldn't even let a doctor look at me, if I could get around it.

Even though I'm losing weight (or at least sizes) at a very rapid pace, I'm not skinny enough yet. Do I just wait until I'm skinny enough? I'm not sure what that's going to be though.

I have huge hang-ups with all levels of intimacy. The thought of sex excites and terrifies me (at an abnormally high level) at the same time. I don't think it would be fair to someone to have them get stuck in a relationship where it'll be a struggle for anyone to get their physical needs met. And I know I would be left over this...but do I pre-warn people so they can decide whether it's a deal-breaker?

I also have difficulty communicating needs/emotions/anything really because of fear of ridicule. I try to avoid outright lying, but I tend to omit information and be really distant unless I know for sure it's ok to share the information or feel like I have no choice. Again, is this something you pre-warn someone about? This also goes back to the physical intimacy problem—I don't know how to communicate needs or boundaries, so I'm pretty much at the mercy of if the other person would take advantage of that or not. And if they would be able to tell when they're going too far just by my reaction so I wouldn't have to be afraid of not being able to stop them?

Would it ever be worth pursuing dating or is it just a silly dream? They're just going to laugh at me or call me creepy...like they always do. Do I just wait until someone asks me and hope they are patient enough to deal with me or are my traits just deal breakers?