A therapist who knows what he/she is doing would never do that Sadendings. It's not about that. In the way I practice I believe it's about entering into a relationship with the client that heals, not re abuses. A very real relationship but with boundaries that enable the work - and yes, it does mean that there will never be a sexual relationship - because for that to happen would destroy the work. Without those boundaries there is no therapy and we lose our therapist. Yes, we need to work through all the feelings around this, we need to grieve for all we never had as little ones (which the therapeutic relationship gets us intouch with), and we need to access our rage, envy, hate, etc. It is the therapists job to bear all of this but not succumb to the projections and repeat something for the cllient - to hold a boundary that enables not harms. And as clients it's our job to express how the boundaries feel and to push against them - and to feel something SAFE!

The therapeutic relationship is a place where we learn to have a close intimate and healthy relationship - and then we can go 'out there' and find the partners/lovers we need as adults. That is what our parents should have given us - and eventually we leave home and find partners to have loving relationships with. Same applies to therapy - if done properly we gain the internal tools to go out and get what we need for ourselves. Even little children have erotic and sexual feelings regarding their parents - and the parents should never act them out with the child. That's what the oedipus complex is about - and is a phase of development we all pass through - you can often hear it spoken when a child speaks of marrying mummy or daddy one day. It is the childs job to test the boundaries and the parents job to hold them firm but not rigid - just like in the therapeutic relationship.

Hope this makes some sense

Moon