OMG... I've just realised...

he died because of me... he always said it would happen, and now it has...

he died because of the car crash, and he crashed because he was drunk, and something must have driven him to drink right?
well surely he was driven to drinking by something in life, anger/disatisfaction/or whatever, and I caused much of the negitive things in the apst... so I caused him to drink... so I caused the crash... so I caused his death