I admire you for being able to share this. I don't know what it is about domestic abuse that shames the victim so much, but there it is. I've even lied to my therapist about it. I understand why you keep going back. I think it's stupid, but I get it. I've done the same thing. I would advise you to let go, don't go back. Maybe one day I will take my own advice. *sigh*