>> "If that was your experience with it... Then that really sux" and "I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with DBT myself :-( "

> - MY - post clearly stated that I DONT do DBT so obviously my experience with it doesn't "sux" and I couldnt have had a bad experience with it if I haven't done it.

Ah. Sorry about that, I'll rephrase: If that was the experience that your friends had with DBT... Then that really sux and I'm sorry they had such a bad experience with it.

> the client is expected to do "homework" on that by instituting what they are learning in the classes into their outside of therapy time at the least during the time that they are in the classes.

Sure. Therapy isn't just about academic learning it is about being able to apply what is learned. That is kind of the point of therapy... To practice new coping skills in therapy and then to try to generalise them to outside therapy so one can lead a more fulfilling life...

> order of skills are varied according to the client BUT the client must do thoser skills in the order assigned by the therapist.

Skills training groups do teach the skills in a particular order. Different skills training groups teach the skills in a different particular order, though, that was what I meant about it being arbitrary. I guess it would be nice if we could sort of absorb the skills holistically, but unfortunately it needs to be taught sequentially...

> they can't just suddenly jump all over the place in the classes.

The skills training groups are structured. Typically... You start with a mindfulness exercise (which could be something like focusing on how a rose looks and smells and feels). Then you talk a little about your diary cards. You don't have to show them to the group, but you are supposed to note what (if any) skills you have practiced each day for the week. Part of the rationale for the diary cards is that it reminds you to practice (at least some) skills daily and practicing them and practicing them and practicing them is the only way to make them automatic. After a while they do become automatic, though, so you don't have to consciously practice them you just find yourself doing them. By keeping the diary cards you can figure out which skills seem most helpful to you so that in times of stress you have things that you know tend to help you so you can consciously apply those skills. It also lets you know if you are over-relying on just a couple of strategies (which commonly tends to happen). One needs to diversify...

Then there is a period of instruction where the new skill for the week is introduced. Then we had a break. Then we got to practice the skill. Then we had one more mindfulness exercise and that was it for the week. In your individual sessions your therapist can jump ahead of the skills group and teach you skills that haven't been covered in group yet. Typically your individual t talks to you about your week and other aspects of your diary card though (suicidal ideation, self harm, drug / alchohol use, eating (especially for people with concurrent eating disorders), sleeping (people tend to have problems with that), flashbacks etc. Your t also checks that you understand the new skill and sees whether you have had any success in applying it.

> The purpose of DBT is to not having your thoughts jumping all over from this topic to that one and then way over here and way over there.

Is it?

> The therapist not the client regulates what the client is working on each session until the client learns to look at their problems non emotionally and non judgementally

There is a hierarchy of topics for individual sessions which goes a little like this:

- suicidal ideation / self harm. Why this first? Because your therapist can't help you if you are dead or in hospital having injuries tended.
- therapy interfearing behaviour. Why this second? Because your therapist can't help you if you don't show up to sessions or if you aren't showing up to group to learn new skills. Your therapist also can't help you if they burn out and so these problems are dealt with second so it is all up front and clear what the expectations / limits are.
- then (I think) it is problems in living. Stuff that has happened during the week. Interpersonal stuff etc.
- then (I think) it is trauma stuff.
- then quality of life (building a life worth living)

The individual therapy session is supposed to be structured so as to start at the top of the hierarchy and work down as time allows. Typically (to start with) people only get down as far as the first three in a session. After the first year the first issue typically doesn't need to be dealt with and there might be nothing to say about the second either so more items on the list are got to in the therapy session. It is structured, yes.

> Accepting things means not being emotionally triggered by the problems anymore

Not necessarily. There could be a problem and one could feel really upset about the problem. One could work on trying to change the feeling of upset by using the skills of emotion regulation, self soothing etc or... One could focus on accepting the feeling by using the mindfulness skills rather than trying to change it.

> DBT point of view looks at the flashback WITHOUT the client experiences and thoughts of the panic, feeling sick, cutting and so on. It requres the person to look at the flashback as if they are a third neutral person watching the situation unfold with their ADULT awareness mind instead of the emotional right back there again child mind that they were when the original situation happened.

In the first year, yes that is right. Say that the problem behaviour is cutting. That will come up at the start of the individual session as self harm does. One thing that is often done is a chain analysis of problem behaviours. The problem behaviour is cutting and so the therapist teaches you how to fill in this worksheet describing what events, thoughts, feelings etc happened before the problem behaviour. The notion is to work out what your triggers are so that when your triggers occur you can use skills instead of coping by doing things like cutting. The ability to do chain analyses of behaviour (from a rational mind, yes) is really important with respect to being able to do chain analyses of problematic events when you get to looking at trauma in the second year.

> I - have what professionals call "lack of affect" meaning - I - don't show emotions very often. - MY - having DID means that all my memories have been separated according to the 5 senses (hearing, taste, smell, touch, how I was touched,) and EMOTIONS. and these memories according to - MY - 5 senses and EMOTIONS have been stored as separate pieces of memories in MY unconscious level of thinking. The only time I show emotion before co consciousness and integration of that memory is when I am dissociated. I can't do DBT because I am already looking at my problems from the non emotional nonjudgemental point of view when aware (not dissociated.) so my therapy program is learning to STIMULATE my 5 senses and EMOTIONS not throw MY emotions aside to look at things.

So you are rational mind. And emotions are something that rational mind can't / won't accept and so emotions are delegated out to an alter. And the same for memories and various bodily sensations.

DBT would be about teaching you skills of acceptance so you can accept bodily sensations and memories and emotions... Acceptance would lead to co-consciousness and eventual integration.

It is the same thing really just different terminology...

> MY therapy work includes drawing, writing, crafts, feeling different textures, smelling different smells, right down to noticing and expressing when I am feeling angry, happy sad and so on about my flashbacks, panic attacks and so on.

Sounds like the mindfulness exercises that are a frequent part of DBT individual and group sessions.

> Every time I have asked a therapy professional about it I have been told that it is for those that do not have "lack of affect"...

Hmm. That is a shame really. Linehan writes about how the 'stereotype' of BPD is over expression of negative emotion but how in her experience often clients present with underexpression of emotion because they think their emotions are bad or wrong or that their emotions are unacceptable so they numb out and can't / won't feel them. The mindfulness exercises are supposed to be about learning how to be kind to yourself / to all aspects of you including your bodily sensations and thoughts and feelings etc. If one can be kind to oneself (and if ones therapist is kind so one learns to see oneself similarly) then one can start to become aware of and accept the feelings...

> It is for looking at things from the non emotional point of view which - I - already do when aware.

DBT is about accessing wise mind (aka integrated / co-conscious mind) rather than rational mind (which cannot feel) and emotional mind (which cannot think). wise mind is a gestalt of BOTH rational and emotional mind and it is greater than the sum of its parts...

> So I have never been put on it.

If your therapy is working for you then that is great :-)

Sometimes I think... A lot depends on the therapist / client fit...