Thanks so much for posting this, moonlitsky. It's really great to have someone on here who is experienced from both sides of the couch, so to speak.

The article was really interesting and the story she describes really resonated, which was at one level good because it makes me feel normal for having these feelings but on the other hand scary, because it makes me realize that I probably need to talk to her about them. It's strange too - what I have doesn't really seem to fit into erotic transference so much, like I don't fantasize about her sexually etc but I do have a desire to be close to her, feel jealous of her other clients/friends, would freak out if I saw her with a boyfriend or partner and feel somewhat obsessed. Unlike the woman in the story, I would hate for her to be a lesbian (I am same-sex attracted). I want her to be asexual!

It's weird though, because on some level I know that it's not about her. The feelings are there, and they are directed towards her, or at least having the T relationship with her has brought up these feelings, but I'm not sure that I really love her so much as what she represents. It's very confusing. I kind of hate it. And it makes me realize how attached I am to her, and frankly, that's terrifying.

I'm really scared because I want to talk to her about it but absolutely feel like she will reject me or laugh at me. Even if she is accepting of me in session, I could only imagine she would be laughing at me in her head or with her supervisor. I can't imagine revealing something so huge, painful and embarrassing. I HATE feeling vulnerable and exposed!! But if healing occurs through the transference then I guess at some point I'll have to. The thought of it makes me feel sick though

Those of you on PC who have 'fessed up to transference are so brave. I admire your courage so much!