(((Moon))) thank you, so much for this explanation. This is exactly how my therapist went about my therapy (She believes Bowlby had it right, years ago). Your words are what she explained to me on an intellectual level for the last year. I didn't have to keep fighting the need or want; If I called she would come; if I called she would come. I very rarely felt deprived, and when I did, we worked through it. The difference between the adult and the child is the cognitive piece. If it didn't happen at the moment of the need, the need would eventually be met. I have now been filled up. What was missing - I never knew what was missing - is now within me.

After 14 months of seeing her ~3 days a week, we have reached the termination phase. I rarely feel the need to top off.

I marvel at all the clarity you give forum members as to what's going on with them. Thanks again.

PS: I also did 12 weeks of psychodrama as suggested by my therapist, and that added another dimension, putting me on an even faster track to healing.