It's been about a thousand years since I posted on here. ;-) Really, I don't know how long. Maybe a couple of years. Ages ago when I posted on here I was posting about all my regrets from past relationships, inability to really be intimate with people or to be all the way into a relationship, etc.

A gazillion hours of therapy later, I finally had a relationship that I was all the way into. I got it right. Really loved him completely, was myself in the relationship, tried hard to communicate real feelings (I'm not perfect at that, but I gave it a real shot), etc. Even our sex life was amazing (we made love almost every time we were together). By far the best relationship I've ever had. It ended on Wednesday.

I'm grieving, but at the same time it's an amazing experience to have no regrets. If I could do it again, there's nothing I would have done differently. That was the best I could be in a relationship.

I've had heartbreak before, but this is the first time I've ever had heartbreak without self-hatred. So I've never been here before. I'm thanking therapy for that as it's so much better this way. :-)

Still (if you can't tell), I wish it had lasted....