Good morning. I'm no expert on relationships and am still trying to piece together the amount of "contribution" BP played in their demise (it takes two to tango). I was married for 11 yeas 3 kids and divorced in 09. Was not diagnosed until this Feb (BP2/ADHD). Clearly my BP bx existed throughout, my spouse dealt with, saw and felt ALL the ups and downs and moods and rages over those years, but handled them masterfully. It was a great marriage in every way. In the end we didnt work....because I pushed away and was bored and wasnt in love and clearly was unable to meet my partner needs...... thus we split.
Fast forward to my latest break up. 3 yrs together. Love of my life (or so I thought). Intense, deep and wonderful . Had I been diagnosed when we were dating not sure I what level of disclosure would've occurred and at what rate? ? Anyway given a multitude of life problems (kids, health issues, work, etc...) things started to deteriorate and my BP became full blown... unlike nothing I'd ever experienced before. It drove an immense wedge between us. Who the hell truly can handle full blown untreated BP??? So my partner encouraged me to get testing done and I agreed (I had already been in tx for 5 mo on my own.. for anger control and communication "help") Was, tested, diagnosed, put on meds, in tx and we are thinking positive and that we will work all this out and be together forever. NOT! Set back, med reaction, hospitalization, and "the end". I was released from the hospital, off meds and it was too much and we split. I packed up my kids and moved. My partner gave up on me. I had given up on myself. I know I was alot to handle. I know there was so much damage done to each other thru this all.... but blaming it all on BP is BS!! Sorry for the long drawn out version. My point is is that there ARE people out there that will love and support you over the long haul! Timing of disclosure during dating I have no clue about, guess it depends how serious it gets. Ive experienced compassion and understanding and unconditional love by a partner even tho I had all the horrible bx, anger, spending $$, etc..and I've also experienced the worst, the humiliation and blame for being BP and all the stuff that goes with it.
Im newly single and not even contemplating dating and disclosing. I do know I won't be alone forever....and neither will you be! There's someone out there that will be able to walk thru life with you, love and support you unconditionally despite the BP!! That's my opinion anway. Enjoy your weekend.