Hi Lynn and thanks for your response!

Your post made much sense. Funny you had mentioned, S&M, as I am also an extreme Masochist and perhaps is another reason I have this fetisch?
I know, I shouldn't be ashamed, but I am, of both.

In some cases, the gun will have a full mag, but nothing in the chamber. Other times I am blindfolded, but my husband assures me, its fine, and to trust him, which I have.

I've considered, yes, to talk to a therapist - but I need to gain courage to first. (I hope that makes sense)