Quote:
Originally Posted by BonnieG2010
What an extraordinary bunch of ladies we are!! 
Rose I was talking just tonight to my new T about the coldness my mother could muster when I tried to have it my way.
You can rest assured that I did have it my way. But she fight with all her might. She was really scared about the world and everything and was trying to instill something like: the world is a dangerous place, stand by me and you'll be safe. Ha! She just wanted for me not to live my life and that was meant to be safe.
She could be so distant and opinionated: it should be her way or nothing. I had it my way but it was tough to cut the cord from my side: usually adults does it.
And I too had an uncle that saved my life with his pure and perfect love: he loved me so much and I did love him in return
till next exchange  |
What is it, about our mother's brothers? ((going out on a limb here, that it's both of your maternal uncles, as is my own))
Something symbolic happened with me last night, that reminded me, just now, when you mentioned that it's usually the adult that cuts the cord with the child, not the other way around. Silly really, but, took my middle son to a friends bday party and there were arcade cames, with those tickets that come out. And we were trying to leave, as he tried to fold them up, he's only 7, I grabbed one end, so we could walk, and he folded it and I let go. And it reminded me, that it's up to me, to let go.
Your description, sounds similar to how I've felt about my own mom. Was so hard, because, to others who weren't her daughter, she was kind, caring, sweet, on and on. SO, when I'd stand up for myself, I was painted an unusually darker shade of black, so to speak.
Mom's like this, raise daughters that have a truly difficult time with relationships in life. I was thinking about this thread today. If I had a little spat with a female friend, it would seem, she'd encourage me to walk away from the friendship. Likewise with employers, etc. Seemed to crave my dependence on her. ((I do speak in past tense of my mom, she passed on 3 years ago))
My life, changed. It's conflicting to outright say it, but my work life, friendships that I am building, etc., seems better, in a way. Since she's been gone, I took on a job, that would have been beneath her tastes. And in that time, I've gained a good work reputation, and recently, received a promotion. And, as beneath her, it would be, I really LIKE what I do.