how on earth could i have done this.

you see this weekend i was being stupid. my best friend. she doesn't like me drinking. and all of a sudden out of know where i let her get drunk. i just felt so bad. it was like seeing me. and it hurt. really bad. but i let it happen. i didn't have enough, so i was clear minded. but its my best friend for Gods sake.

-then the next day. i brought some marijuana over to my friends house. and there was her sister (2 years younger) my friend and her sis boy friend who, a year older than me.
anyway i wanted some....so we went in this closet thingy. but my friend didn't want any and her boy friend has to lay off it for wrestling. great for me. i taught an 8th grader how to do drugs. my friend just laughed. but you know what i feel. I FEEL terrible. she looked so young. so scared. and some how i let her get high.

i thought i was over all this.......@!! i didn't do anything about wanting it, and now. im letting others fall into this %#@&#!.

ugh im sry im rambling but i feel i have dirty hands in a sense.
i feel so responsible. i know its my fault, i provided everything. i dind't stop them. i let it happen.