i dont do more then required, we were only going as far with it as i was comfortable. and yes, with this kind of relationship she would be in control for the fact that its based on know that your partner will be safe with you. but we have decided to put an end to the relationship we had. it wasn't working for us. our expectations of eachother were too different. i have also come to learn that my paranoia and anxiety about this is not just with her, but with manythings in my life. it was just most noticable with her.