I had called a hotline last night, and was given the impression that I was wasting their time... I feel like I am wasting everyone's time... my own included... we went out for my wife's birthday and it helped distract me while we were out... but as soon as we wound down dinner, it came crashing back. The self-harm urges are so intense... just 40 more hours and I see my therapist... hopefully he can help me out of this, or into someplace I can get more help. The addiction is intense, and I want to feed it... :/