I am home after being out with a friend. It was a good day. Now I can't stand being home with my mother and her husband and my sister is here and her friend. I don't want to be here. Even out with my friend I thought of jumping from the balcony at Cabelas. I am... I can't get my life together. I just can't. I am in an endless loop of failure and dispaire. Little good things but too many bad things.