I am so bad i really do not know what to do? Nothing at all means anything to me, i am so sick & tired of feeling this way. Everything to me is a big chore even showering. It's getting to the point where now it is affecting my physical symptoms. I go to see the doc on Tues but i do not want to be put in the hospital again this will be like my 10th time. I am so ashamed everyone there knows me so well & i do not think anyone ever went back that much.