Trippin, I don't think I can really say what the heck is happening with you, honestly.

I really don't think it's bipolar II, though, because what you go through when these
things hit you aren't anything at all like the hypomania I've experienced, nor are they
like the depression I've experienced for so long. Cutting in the past also is something
I'm not familiar with. (I can't understand the reasoning behind that, anyway. Is it
supposed to bring relief? And is that a feature of bipolar I rather than bipolar II?
I just don't know about that.)

You might be an ultradian bipolar person because of the rapidity of changes that
occur within hours of each other. I know of one ultradian bipolar who used cutting
as part of her effort to ease pain (I guess; I don't know). Your mind may be asking for relief from stress and that's what's causing the changes, in my view. Otherwise, I have no idea
what's happening.

Is that sister-in-law still with your mother and you? That could be triggering this
if she's still there and an influence.

I hesitate to ask how your diet is because I think you manage that superbly. Haven't been touching a little alcohol now and then, have you?

You're not psychotic; you're not schizophrenic; you're just very intelligent and having
fun with dreams, maybe; the fact that you snap back to reality so quickly indicates
to me that it isn't a psychosis.

I know you have very little use for psychiatrists--- understandably, in your case; but if
these things continue, maybe you should select one and just get an evaluation without
promising anything about taking meds. This stuff can get worse, as you know, over
the years without medication if it's really essential to stabilize things.

Thinking about you and genuinely sorry this has interrupted things momentarily.