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alexandra_k said:
I was raised in a pretty hostile world too... It can be hard to shift the lens... I really don't believe it is a matter of logic or illogic I think it is about shifting the lens...

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I think that's probably right.
But I don't feel I know how, or think that I can, or have any resources offering me an alternative. Its what I see; essentially, my 'feeling nature' is much the same as it was during my teens. The lens appears to be broken. Maybe it needs a filter, or a srew-on attachment, to change what it perceives. Other than that, I'm really not sure.....