sorry for your loss. try to find a therapist if you can (s/he may be able to offer a sliding scale or reduced fee until you get back on your feet with work etc) or there may be free or low cost support groups in your area. you can check for bereavement groups. it helps to have support and share the experience you are going through with others. it is so hard and painful. hang in there. and of course there are people here you can chat with or write on the forums. i am having to take unpaid leave from work right now because I just cant function due to my recent loss. it will be difficult but you have to take care of yourself and try and find safe supports that can help you if possible. PM me if that will help. Lee