Thank you all for your support. it is certainly what i need right now. i believe that my dad is trying to destroy me just so he can sit there if i didnt make it a success (which wont happen, i know that for sure!) and saay "i told you so!". i know he meant what he said though, because when he says things when hes drunk he always apologises if he didnt mean it, but he hasnt apologised to me. hasnt mentioned it since. so i know he means it, but today it doesnt bother me, i think thats because i have found support from you all so i feel more supported and stronger. i guess i just needed that reassurance from you guys here. i can do nothing more than thank you all so much for your help.

i am going to look up those books for sure. i will take a trip to my library this week, i have friday off work so i will go then, read it over the weekend.

thanks again. you are all great people.

simon