I too see that they tried to help you. it was your choice to talk your way out of that help.

If you would like to continue persuing hospitalization you can on your own go to the local ER and talk with two staff psychiatrists and again based on what you say will decide if you need to be hospitalized.

Ot you can contact your therapy professional if you have one and that therapist can go with you to the local er for the evaluation with two staff psychiatrists for possible inpatient care.

Basically you are the one in control of your own therapy and so on. if you want the help then you have to be the one to not talk yourself out of the situations where people are trying to help you.

Hang in there