I am so sorry you had to go through this. I am not familiar with "agencies" so not sure how they work. But I'd stay as far away as possible from these two individuals if possible.

Having experienced some major boundary and ethical violations from a therapist myself, I will just share some things that people said to me that helped. First, it is ALWAYS the therapists responsibility to uphold ethics and boundaries. Clients typically experience transference and tend to push boundaries. Your female exT broke many codes, including her out-of-line self disclosures. You did nothing wrong, there is nothing "wrong" with you. You were vulnerable like any other client who is trying to heal.

Transference is where that little child comes into play. She took advantage of that and robbed you of your voice in the name of care. Healthy care does not make a person have to be less than, have to shrink, or hide parts of yourself. The only thing I've found to be really helpful through some of this horrendous pain, is to "parent" myself. That the adult in me can meet the needs of the child within. It also includes being more gentle with myself and with the extra trauma that came out of this.

Another helpful point was that "you can't bleed a stone". Meaning, you can't make these people take responsibility or expect them to respond like the kind and loving idealized parent you thought they were. And just because they don't give that to you, doesn't mean you can't validate it for yourself.

There were a few websites that I found to be helpful. It's a lot of info and they may not all directly relate:

TELL: Therapy Exploitation Link Line
BIBRI: Therapy Abuse
Surviving Therapist Abuse — Resources and Support for Healing
Dual Relationships, Multiple Relationships, & Boundaries

Hope some of that will be helpful. Take care.