We have lost our house and have no place to live. My mom won't let me move in and my husbands father does not seem to want to help either. I found us an apartment but the only way to afford it is for me to work. I am on disability for a reason dam it. My husband basically tells me that it is my fault if I don't work and that we are homeless. ITS NOT MY FAULT! Actually it is his. We would not be in this place if it were not for his compulsive spending eairler this year. He has a problem and refuses to admit it and get help. Now he is in a wheel chair and can't walk, and has heart problems. They are not real problems though. The docs told me that he has a conversion disorder and that the only way for him to get better is to admit something mentally is wrong and to hit rock bottom. I don't know anything about this condition or how to help him. I want to leave him. But I feel so guilty about leaving someone ill. Anyhow I want to SI very badly. I can't control the urge much longer. I am so upset with myself for thinking this way. I have not SI in two years. Its about to go up in smoke. I also know how I am. If I do it once I will want to do it again and again. Someone please help me or give me some advice on how to deal with my husbands conversion disorder.