Thanks- I feel so weak and helpless and my instinct just wants to lash out and take revenge, but I know that the end result would not be what I want. I am actually meeting my therapist tomorrow, she is pretty cool and has somewhat predicted that I would get hurt over and over again unless my wife would commit to treatment. I think my problem is that I have this silly idea of eventually getting a "return on the investment", which is not likely to ever happen, at best our relationship is going to be be "bearable". I just need a break, the last two years have been hell, I have lost 50 (!) lb -- so I went from a chubby to a hotty but not by going to the gym. I work a lot to stay sane, I am keeping all the bad stuff from my kids while my wife (drunk) told my 7 year old that I am gay.( she was a bit more descriptive...to the point that my little girl had no clue what she was talking about...) but I am in love with the woman behind the hate, she just seems so far away now. I just long to have my family back and intact. There are so many stories out there and they all read the same and most of them don't end well. I guess I am pretty conceited thinking that I am the best thing that ever happend to her--but....her whole family and everyone that knows me keeps telling me that-- I quote" you are perfect for each other-- you are both crazy.." -- I am starting to think that they might be right, I must be some sort of masochist the keep going thanks for your reply--