I have come to realise that my father is a narcissist. He sexually abused me when I was 12 years old and thought nothing of it. We would do things of a sexual nature out of sight of my mother which scared me witless. I never knew what I was going to see him do next. He tried to get hold of me make me participate in some sexual fantasy of his but I was so scared, I ran crying from the house and stayed outside until my mother came back from the shops. Not once did he come out and apologise or try to make amends for his behaviour. When mum saw the state I was in, she tore strips off my father, but he just kept denying what he had done. He didn't care one bit that I was crying, terrified and emotionally shattered, sitting on the step at the back door, listening to mum trying to make him tell the truth. I can't remember the outcome now but from that point on, mum made it her life's work to protect me from him. Back in the 1960's you didn't talk about things like that and there were no support groups or place to go to get help. You just go on with things and didn't talk about it.
Mum died in 2002 and he has been in a nursing home since about 2009. Has always been a very selfish and self-centred man. It's always been about him. He told me recently that I did a terrible job of looking after him in the nursing home and has now revoked my Power of Attorney and Guardianship documents that I held for 13 years. The last time I saw him, he literally spat at me as he told me to get out of his life and that I didn't have any respect for him. Considering the circumstances I think he was lucky I even bothered to have anything to do with him. He has been physically abusive to both me and my late mother in the past as well. His temper would just flare past boiling point without warning and he would lash out. If he couldn't get his own way we were in for a terrible time. It has taken me 46 years to work through the sexual abuse but while I can just about forgive him, I can never forget.