You were not in a position to adequately care for a child. I have been there too. We do the best we can but sometimes even the right thing is difficult. I had an abortion too. Please be kind to yourself. It is never an easy decision. 
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The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous
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