Quote:
Originally Posted by Rare
Sometimes he subtly/jokingly wants to take credit for my development as an adult. Since I've been with him for so long, it is believable from time to time. The worst thing is for the most part I don't like the person who I am when with him. I am anxious, snappy, sometimes even hostile and my guard is always up. I have lost all desire to be nice, make him feel special, etc. And he complains about it, saying I don't treat him right.
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This alone is reason to call it a day without any of the controlling or criticism you mentioned. He's not bringing out the best in you (a strange thing to want to take credit for too btw). If you are unhappy when you are with him, and feeling all these negative things, then it's time to go. Life is really too short to spend with the wrong person.
It's hard to get the confidence to believe your own thoughts when a person has been controlled for so long. I think when he blames your unhappiness on your own self-esteem issues is unhelpful and it makes him take no responsibility of his own behaviour. I am guessing he won't change that attitude, and without him working with you to try and make things better, then you may just be hitting yourself with that hammer for a long time.
I hope you do whatever is right for you.
Hugs