It's almost three o'clock in the morning and I can't sleep. My mind keeps repeating over and over "I killed my baby. I'm a horrible person. I deserve to die."

(Background info: Last year in June I got pregnant and then had an abortion when I was ten weeks. I was not in a position to financially support the baby at that time. Even though I wanted the baby and loved it and the baby's dad (my boyfriend).)

I just feel so guilty. It's been getting worse lately. I would see a pregnant girl and suddenly I would get so depressed. Sometimes I wonder if I'm going to get punished for what I did. For getting an abortion. Which was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. But I deserved it. But anyway I wonder if I will never be able to have any more kids again as a punishment for killing my first.

Anyway I feel so panicky and my heart's beating so fast. I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack. Help please!

Anyone else in a similar situation who can offer any words of advice would be much appreciated.