I stink at office politics. I always have. I am friendly and nice and considerate, but I am emotional and will have an occassional outburst that will severly damage my reputation (this has happened at every place I've worked). I have loudly complained about policies I didn't agree with and became known as difficult.

I'm sure much of it comes from working in environments that don't really suit me or not matched with my abilities, but I fear that if the day ever comes when I DO have the "dream job" that I will do the exact same thing.

When someone is passive aggressive towards me I lose my mind. My supervisor (who clearly does not like me. This is NOT paranoia talking) said to me today while explaining something I'd done wrong "you see you need to write this down verbatim, THAT IS word for word" implying that I might not know the definition of the word verbatim. It was her tone that made me go nuts and further reject authority figures in general, especially those who are condescending and abusive of their power.

I am a person who in life has experienced being loved or hated, seldomly in between. I speak my mind and can be bold at times, but I'm honest in my feelings and never mean or mean spirited. There are people in this world who will love you for that, but many more who will hate you.

I don't know how to play the game without becoming someone I hate. Whenever I pretend to be a stepford employee I make myself sick. How can I retain my sense of myself while making a good impression on the boss?