I have similar thoughts pretty often.. especially when I'm in the car alone. I'm constantly imagining driving into oncoming traffic, stopping on railroad tracks, swerving into the other lane, etc. Sometimes I think it keeps me further from the actual act, other times it seems like it pulls me further into darkness. It just varies, not sure how to cope with it yet but I can definitely relate.

I also imagine other people I'm talking to or around having sex. Not sure about where that comes from but I do that, too.

I also have a habit of envisioning myself hurting people, screaming as loud as I can at someone, etc, in public but can simultaneously maintain complete composure outwardly.