Dear T,

I want it to be about me, but here I am, jealous of you again. I was made aware that you may be having a great time on the dating scene! That is SO not you, but what if I'm wrong and it IS you? I want you to be happy and find someone else if it's what you want, but I can't imagine you going out just to go out. At least not YET! Or, maybe I don't want to imagine it.

Do you think I'm having a transference reaction about my father having lady friends after my Mom passed away? Or do you think I'm jealous because you can go out and have fun with guys and I can't? Or both?

I want to do SE for the whole time tomorrow but right now I'm feeling these feelings I don't like. I don't know how they can come over me so suddenly. I don't know why, either. Maybe I will burst into tears when I see you tomorrow. I'm always honest with you, but I don't know if I can be about this subject.