Me again. Did you miss me? No, of course not. You are so glad to be rid of me, to not have to think of me ever again. It must be such a relief.

Meanwhile, I'm still over here, hanging out, going to work, spending time with my kids, staring at the wall, thinking about dying. You know, the usual. Seriously, I need to get you out of my head. Even more difficult, I need to get you out of my heart. How do I do that?

I miss you terrifically. I hate you. I love you. I want to pummel you. I want you to know how much you hurt me, how you devastated me. But I don't get to do that.

I still keep thinking about writing you, pretty much all of the time. Thing is, I don't even know what I'd say. For once, I feel like I've said all there is to say and you just. don't. understand. Makes me wonder if you ever understood.

I want to tell you that consultT thinks you screwed up. Of course, she only has my version of events, so who knows how much that actually means.