I feel terrible. I feel like, as I'm getting older, the 'in between' feeling is getting less and less and it's just this huge rollercoaster. Like yesterday was a generally normal day for me. I wasn't depressed, but not super cray-cray either so I'd call it normal, although I think I was at least borderline manic... coming off my high... but then today I just come crashing down into a pit of blah. I just want to wither away and die and I keep having to tell myself to breathe because I am SO pissed with just everyone and everything that it's getting difficult. And my mum. OH, my mum.

She SOSOSOSOSO does not get it. Sometimes I definitely feel like she's deliberately trying to work me up and I so badly want to just... yikes... I'm scaring myself with my thoughts here... idk... but I want to do something bad and I know I'll regret it in the long run so I won't, but if she keeps pushing my buttons the way she is, then I'm going to flip shiz. And it will not be pretty. And now I feel like I'm going to and I'm scared and I just don't know... I'm a mess right now... not to mention I'm kind of being forced into a relationship at the moment. The thing is I really like her and I REALLY want to be with her, but we've both got some issues and they don't go together well.... I'll just go with that.. But anywhale...

Thanks for listening.... xoxo
<3
<3
<3