Bless your heart. I'm sorry for what's happening. But YES this is normal grieving for the loss of the relationship.

You have to remember tho that the breakup of a marriage isn't ONE person's fault. It takes two. ONE person doesn't breakup a marriage. Both are always to blame, and things do happen. But there's no point in playing the blame game.

You don't mention whether or not the two of you went to marriage counseling. It would have been great if you had -- it might have made a difference, but it looks like it's too late now.

It's NOT too late for YOU to go into counseling. It would be a good idea if you did, to help you get thru this. Even if you went to a grief counselor, it would be a good idea. You can get a hold of a grief counselor thru Hospice. Their counselors are great -- and you don't have to have used their services previously either. Give them a call.

If you want "regular" counseling, call your medical doctor -- he can refer you to a good therapist. He will know who is best for you. And please don't just "pooh-pooh" therapy -- it saved my life once. You sound quite depressed too, and depression is an illness that shouldn't be ignored.

I wish you the very best. God bless and PLEASE take care of YOU. Big hugs, Lee