Okay...I was in a relationship for 3 years.Now we got a job in different cities and were talking over phone and the relationship continued.I also made regular visits to her in every 2-3 months to her.We thought of it as a long lasting relationship.Now this girl had a very good job .And I was having a decent one.So in order to go out to ask her father for marriage I had to go up with agood job.So I was working towards it and then I realized that I was not going to match the level expected.And this was previously understood by both of us that if doesn't get good by this coming year we will break up as she can't go against her family wishes.
Now this girl from the beginning was much on the practical side and had issues with her self image.Though she is pretty and she really is,she always thought of it as a joke.I really appreciated her from my heart.
There were certain issues which we thought about that in future we were not on the same page.She wanted something else with her life and I something diferent.
Okay so now we were fighting over phone for one thing or the other.The relationship had really taken a toll on me.But since she was so dependenet on me I could not say anything about breaking up and thought it will only hurt her.I was not satisfied with this relationship.But couldnt take a step as I always had this thing that I started it and longed in front of her to please talk to me and accept my love.Now I finally decided to break up and when that point came this year that I wont be making up to her family.I said that we should break up.And we did.On that day she agreed .BuI kept talking to her as she said that she needs sometime to move on and let us be friends till she moves on.NOw after 2-3 months when I stopped feeling for her and was getting in a new relationship.She got to know about it and freaked out.She kept crying that this was not fair as I loved her and how can I move on so early.I talked to my family and everone told me if it has to go nowhere than why do both of us have to be in a relationship.But now I feel that all the crying she went thorugh w is due to me.i was the one who approached her.I am the reason for all her sorrows.And this guilt makes me feel like I should die.Why in the first place I even talked to her.I always tried to boost her attitude towards herself.Only told her that she is not bad or anything.It'is just that we two were not good together.She mailed me saying why you made all promises if you couldn't keep them.Now she wont be able to trust anyone or love anyone.Is it that I have ruined her life.Coz this is what making me sick and depressed .I have this guilt of loving her.Though I know that if I had been with her it would just have been iggnoring mysel and my aims.But now I just cant get over it that she would go back to the state of the negative attitude for herself.and if she will be able to move on or if she will fall in love again,.It it just me who is completely responsible for all that has happened.I know talking to her just makes it worse as she starts crying and I will only remind her of the things of the [past.I am dying with this feeling of guilt please help.