So i just came out of the bathroom after cutting my wrist the deepest I've ever done and, to be completely honest, i feel like ending it all. Watching the blood drip on the floor and thinking, gosh is this what I have to look forward to? Spending my day anxious about the next day?
I have university tomorrow and I am so terrified to go. And for what? It's week 2 and there is nothing to do and I'm just sitting here feeling like I will actually drop dead if I got to any of my classes. I'm so overwhelmed and I just keep on cutting and cutting. I've cut 20 times in the past 2 days. I feel like I can't handle university, especially getting diagnosed with bipolar last week and trying to find the right dosage of meds. So I'm torn about dropping classes and just doing 2 courses so I can slowly build up my confidence actually do university.

I feel so lost and I just need someone to guide me.